Ah, It was so good BACK THEN!

Whenever something new starts in our life, we tend to compare it to our past.

Bad choice, I know.
But when our mind constantly thinks, it’s inescapable.

For instance –

I think about how much I had control back then.

Of how life really had no tough responsibilities back then.

Of how I should have been really happy back then.

Of how I was actually “free” of shit back then.

I’ll use ‘free’ in the rest of the post to signify  = happiness, satisfaction, free from scariness of life’s shit

When I started college, 1000 miles from my home, in a separate town and state, without my parents

I could not be angrier on the “school Arunima”

She was so anxious, worried about homeworks, grades, small responsibility.

Huh Arunima, you should have known better!

Those were meagre responsibilities!
Those were nothing!

Now you’re in a DIFFERENT WORLD, without a safety net, with real responsibilities.

It was so good, back then.
You were so FREE!

Whenever I came into a new year of my college life, I’d look back at the previous year and wonder how easy it was.

‘Atleast you didn’t have to look for jobs in 2nd year. You just had to study.’

After this happened repeatedly, I finally observed this pattern.

I was anxious about my present, but happy about its freedom as soon as it became the past.

Now when my college is over and I’m stepping in the real world, real job

All I could think from last 2 weeks was

“Damn Arunima, you were worried about college? It was Nothing. You were free. You did not have to worry about earning or bigger responsibilities. You were still a student. Look now, you’re an adult”

I caught myself again this time.

I’m sure this isn’t just my story.
It’s many of ours.

We overestimate the worries of future and underestimate what we went through, in past.

Thinking the past situations were easy is a lie. They weren’t, when we were living them.

Thinking the future situations would be tough is a lie. We would be stronger when we’ll handle them.

If we keep doing this,

Imagine what would it be like –

Before Pandemic – Ah, this is worst. So much commute time? I need vacation. I need me time. I wanna be at home.

During Pandemic – Oh no, I was so foolish to hate that. Atleast I was meeting people

After pandemic – Seriously, this is so tiring. All the socializing yet again. I was stupid to feel bad during pandemic.

You’d go into job thinking college was easier, atleast there were no real responsibilities.

You’d go into High managerial position thinking the past was better. Atleast you had to work on what you were given and be responsible for everything.

You’d marry but think ‘wow I was worrying that much about work, it was just work. This is getting serious. I now have to maintain lifelong responsibilities’.

You’ll have kids and literally laugh thinking you were worried about the crazy mundane things. YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF A LIFE NOW.

You’ll never feel ‘free’ and satisfied of your life until it has become the past.

Let me tell you a small conclusion –

Because everything feels ‘Free’ and ‘Happy’ as soon as it becomes the past, means it had the potential of ‘Free’ and ‘Happy’ quotient.

You just chose to look at it later.

Conclusion?

Freedom, satisfaction, happiness – it’s all your mind’s function.

If you’re free from your mind, nothing can enslave you.

If you’re enslaved from your mind, nothing can free you.

____

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